ぶたこの部屋トップに戻る
英語のお勉強、表紙に戻る

"Connecting on a personal level"

Introduction
I'd like to tell you about an article I read.
It discusses what is real communication and relationship we need,
especially with people from around the world.

First
I'll tell you a certain situation which the writer had (met) for an example

Secondly
I'll explain why the writer felt this situation was uncomfortable

Thirdly
I'd like to talk to you about circumstances around Japanese women and their struggles against Japanese society

And then
I'd like to mention the differences between Japanese women and Western women about building friendship

Finally
I'll show you writer's suggestion for real communication and relationship

the situation the writer had
The writer, Caroline is a western women, speaks English, and lives in Japan.
Recently she was in a bar, sitting quietly with her friend and having a rather important conversation.
When her friend went to the bathroom, two Japanese women who'd drunk little bit,came up to her and sat down at her table without any permition.
One of them asked her several questions: 'Where are you from?', 'How long have you been in Japan?', 'Do you like Japanese food?', 'Can you use chopsticks?' and so on.

uncomfortable
The situation was not unfamiliar to her, yes, it's very familiar to her!
she knew their intentions were nothing but good, maybe they wanted to communicate with her, but when this kind of thing happens, it makes her feel uncomfortable.
It comes to many other foreigners, too, she said.

Because she feel that she is viewed as "outsider", and that's why, people ask her these kind of questions, and want to connect with her, it's simply because she is "foreign", not because they want to look out anything in common with her. So that's why, she felt uncomfortable at that time. Her question is 'why many Japanese people (especially women) want to do this?'

Japanese women feel
Caroline has a workshop. Most of the members are Japanese women who want to have an international life in Japan without going overseas. According to the members' opinion,
Jobs, families, and Japanese society restrict them from expressing their opinions so they….

• trying to seek their true professional and personal goals
• developing relationships with new people for them, they believe that bring them up, and confirm their individual identities despite this…unfortunately
• much of the foreign language education in Japan doesn't provide students like them schools don't teach the tools needed for true communication, (just see the surface) for this reason
• that brings the situations like hers in that evening in the bar

Japanese women

• tend to avoid anything controversial or personal issue(until much later down the track) 深い付き合いになるまで
• but care about one's background, like job, family not just anyone's personality(I can see it in all Japanese!)

Western women
on the contrary

• telling each other their "stories" in details: even during a first meeting
• finding common experience or feeling in personal things and then
• start building a friendship

they do not care about

• where anyone is from
• what kind of food she likes

For real communication and relationship

• a genuine desire to connect with others
• need to find out a bit more about what makes anyone move, not just on the surface, but in depth

especially for Japanese women

• try to be courage in revealing(showing) more personal matters to others even this can be quite a challenge

Conclusion

• It's worth taking the plunge 飛び込む価値がある and finding these slightly controversial or personal topics to connection
• It's much more interesting than discussing whether somebody can use chopsticks or not!

my opinion
Now, I'd like to tell you my view here as my conclusion.
I always find that we Japanese are not good at interviewing to others even in Japanese.
Also we tend to hesitate to ask others about personal things in the first meeting.

I think we should care about not stepping in other's privacy, but we should try to be courage in revealing personal things to others, try to be interested in others' life. Then we can enjoy exchanging our stories with each other.

And as a English learner, I believe the attitude affect boosting English abilities.
Thank you for your attention, I'd like now finish my presentation. Thank you.